I'm so tempted to call him. even before consuming alcohol. even more so after consuming alcohol. But i had a really good time at the 2threads event. :)
although he has not called and its been almost 2 weeks since i called him, i trust in God to get him to call at the right time.
for some reason, i dont believe that he has totally forgotten about me. I am sure that he is doing his best to. But somehow i know that he still loves me. Its odd. hopefully i am not wrong. I really wish that we would be able to get together before the end of the year. I really miss him.
Part of me says its ok if he doesnt reply. Cos i know that God has someone for me. however I do also wish that he would reply. That we can get together again. But that is only for God to know. Cos only God knows if we are really compatible with each other and if we are willing to learn and make things work with each other. I trust God with my future.
God has been good to me. He has been encouraging me, teaching me and growing me. although many times i feel sad, disappointed and hopeless, God has encouraged me. And I am thankful.
I really want to know Daddy more. I feel like i know Him, yet i dont. And i guess, it'll take a long time to actually know Him. Perhaps forever, and I probably still dont know Him. :)
But its ok. Whether I know Him or not, I know that Daddy God loves me. And that's what really matters. I am precious to Him. That is why He looks after me. He encourages me. He stays with me. He shows me His love.
Gosh I really wish that Toulia will call me before the year ends. Really would like to make things right before that. And obviously, if possible, hope that God can reconcile our relationship before end of the year. However, I will not give up hope even if it doesnt happen. Cos I know that God is faithful. He is the only one whom I can place my hopes in. And if Daddy God says no, who am I to say yes?
I know that God knows best for me. And He leads me and guides me daily. I am thankful for the growth.
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