After crying for almost an entire day, my tears have been spent. The heartache's also gone away.
And my trust in God is renewed.
I didn't understand why God brought toulia into my life. And I can't accept why toulia left. I also don't understand why God allowed me to experience all the pains in my life.
But I do know that everything that I have experienced in life has made me stronger. God causing me to turn toward Him has also given me more faith. And it is no longer empty faith.
Knowing and trusting that God is in charge and He is aware of everything that's happening in my life, I feel safer and more secure.
I don't feel as though I have to sort all the issues out myself. Cos God is doing it for me. I just have to be willing. And I am willing.
Walking past the wedding boutique, I felt like God was poking fun at me. Cos He knows I want to get married dearly. And meeting Andrew klux who has a love for racing felt like another poke in the rib. So different from the God that I thought I knew who was serious, loving, gentle, kind, tender hearted.
I guess God wanted me to lighten up.
Thankfully this time round my brain didn't go into analysis paralysis and think and wonder if it was a message from God regarding toulia.
Bring able to have fun and joke with God is really awesome! Having cried in His pressence the entire day and having Him said nothing to stop me from crying accept allow me to pour all my sorrows out to Him was so loving! Such a privilege!
Boy do I enjoy time with Daddy. And finding out more and more ways where He is with me is just nothing but awesome!
I'm so thankful for God loving me!
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