Once again, as I suspect the promptings of the Holy Spirit, again I suffer the consequences. How in the world did I think that I would be able to put up with Andrew? We are just too different. Sounds like toulia telling me that.
But for now, focus is Andrew. Really pissed me off.
What was the point of him asking me to think about being a pastor when it was not in his intentions to ask me to consider being a pastor? wth....
Just doesnt make sense. What's the point of asking me to think about it? Food for thought? And after the whole going around in circles and asking me a whole lot of questions, he tells me he never thought of asking me to be a pastor.
what? am i that easy to be made a fool of?
Selah
God! If there is something that You want to tell me, I'm sorry I have not been able to get it through Andrew. Please show me as I read your word what it is that You wanted to tell me. Please stop making a fool of me. Please do not speak through Andrew any longer.
All I see in that dude is immaturity, a passion to challenge others and childishness. He thinks that what he says and do is right. That he is the most humble. That he is the most mature and it is just the total opposite!
Cant he see that he needs to change? Cant he see that the whole world is watching him? The world wants us to trip and fall. And fail. But I know that You wont allow that to happen. You have Your angels positioned all around us to lift us up in the incident that we should fall. But for how long is he going to be the way he is? Till he sees the error of his ways?
I am done trying to say anything to him, if that was your purpose - to use me as a messenger. And if You were using him as a messenger, he is not a very good one. He has caused me more grief that bring the message to me. Lord please speak to me in Your still small voice. And then through Your words from the bible. These are my most trustworthy sources. Although I do not want to limit You, please do NOT use Andrew any more.
I am really upset. And if there was any message that You wanted me to get, I am not getting it.
God save me. God help me. God deliver me from these emotions of mine.
I am so upset. I want to cry. I am so angry. I am just infuriated.
I dont know what to say.
I spent an evening with someone who at the end of the day drove me up the wall. And i dont even feel good about it. The food was nice but I feel fat. I could have stayed at home and had a easy dinner. cleaned up the garage and taken annie's mom to the spa. that would have been so much more fulfilling.
Why? oh why? did I have to choose to have dinner with Andrew? And let him drive me up the wall? And made the meal feel so shitty. Why oh why?
How can I be so silly?
I need to be more sensitive to the voice of the holy spirit!
God help me!
No comments:
Post a Comment