I dont know what happened.
Reading Andrew's email and being aware of my behaviour last night has just created a tender spot at the place where my heart is. I dont know why.
Perhaps, having that revelation of my behaviour shed some light as to why I have commonly felt misunderstood. And also removed the bandage over the wound that I have. It is no longer an open wound bandaged up, but a wound uncovered, cleaned and healing.
I can see more and more that God is changing me. No doubt I am feeling very emotional. However I can see the changes. He is showing me who He made me. Not who I have become.
Through His love, His work, He is changing me.
I can see His tenderness working through me. He has softened me as a person.
He is causing me to lean on Him more than on people, to depend on Him and trust Him rather than people. (not that people are not trustworthy. well, in many ways we are cos we are flawed)
He is causing me to experience what love really is and not the selfish, self-centered way the world has taught it to me or portrayed it.
He is teaching me to trust in Him.
He is teaching me to look at the blessings He has given me (such as the friends I have, the job I have, the life that I am breathing.
He has showed me and caused me to understand that my life is not mine but His. Jesus exchanged His life for me! So my life is not mine!
As much as my heart is tender it feels sore, I feel light and joyous too.
And I am happy that I feel that way. :)
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