I love God's sense of laughter. Cos He makes me laugh. :D
Was praying bout toulia yesterday. Wasnt sure whether to greet him happy birthday or not. and asked God. eventually forgot about it! and guess what, I ended up sitting 2 seats away from him when i got to church! hahaha
anyways, i felt peace. No more discomfort, no more anger, no more upset. just wanted good for him. and decided to wish him happy birthday. didnt know if he would talk to me. and obviously he didnt. and felt like a coward not being able to just rock up to him and say happy birthday. so eventually took the chicken exit and msg him happy birthday. :)
was bit disappointed that he didnt even reply thanks. but well, if he is not ready then its not my prob anymore.
perhaps that's why andrew is in my life at the moment. i know that there is nothing between us. but he is definitely a distraction. although i am mindful NOT to lean to him for comfort. God is still my comfort. I do NOT want to make the same mistake again.
There are some things that still get to me about the entire breakdown. i am still skeptical and cynical.
BUT i do know that I no longer harbor any anger or resentment or bitterness towards toulia as a person. still dont see eye to eye with the behaviour, but that's ok. God will deal with it. :D
I am glad to be free!
as much as i am enjoying this peace and no trials season, i do look forward to having trials. cos being able to respond with peace and stability, it really feels good! cos i know i passed God's test!!!
and i believe that God is bringing me up a notch. He is growing my faith in Him stronger. I am sure He has great plans for me. And wants me to be able to look at Him in times of trouble and stay stable, trusting, faithful.
This is a dangerous statement, but I am looking forward to more trials. I wana be stronger, more patient, more obedient! :)
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