I'm glad I had a chat with Minah and I'm thanful that she understands and has not taken things personally. At least that's what I hope for. I still have the issue to deal with. The pain, the hurt. But I know that God is good and He will deliver me. He will heal me.
Still wana take the drive alone. Not sure if I can get to take tue off. Would be lovely if I could take 2 days as Danny had promised. But well we'll see how it goes when the others get back. I'm getting unshameful un getting "rewarded" by Diana. It's definitely not what I've done. I know that fear is driving her. N I dun wana take advantage. But ... Sigh. I've gota pray about it. I'm listening to people more than God and that is Not right. Andrew will be the last I'll ask. He's point of view is very different from most people n I am intrigued. It is interesting. My eyes are opened. I am challenged.
No doubt I am annoyed when he keeps asking me bout Emily. It was a little too much. He is a brother and that is how I need to be able to treat him. Nothing more nothing less. There is lots to be learnt from him. I duno if he'll be in my life as a life Fren but surely for a season. For me to learn off him. I'm sure there is something that he can learn from me too but that's between him and God. There's much to learn for him too. Especially in the area of maturity. I know he thinks he is the most mature person he knows. And I dun deny that he is mature. But there is still alot to learn. Perhaps he knows perhaps he doesn't. But that is his journey. I am but a messenger.
Really wish to see Toulia. Miss him. Kept feeling that I'll meet him somewhere out of church. Out of Sydney. I don't know why. Perhaps that's my way of asking God to confirm if he is the one. Still think he is. But we'll never know will we? Just hope God helps me let him go quickly n easily.
Saw pictures in the phone. Tot I'd ridden everything bout him. But he keeps coming up. I wonder how things are on his side.
Oh Daddy. How I miss him. When will You fill that emptiness up Daddy? Really wish You can come in physical form and give me a hug. Really long for one. I want to feel Your physical touch. :(
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