3 Sept noon - confused

I am still feeling very uneasy about certain things. Like whether Toulia is the one for me or not.
I know for sure at the start of the relationship, he definitely was the one. But i am not sure about now. I know that if he is still the one God has in mind for me, God will convict him eventually. But for now, i dont know. I cant see what's happening and i dont know what is happening.
but i do know that he WAS the one for me and so was i for him.

I have also been bit obsessed with wanting to receive messages from Andrew. Think it was the same as before I met toulia. Feels the same as after I met up with Colin during conference. I guess i am too anxious about it and really long to be in a relationship.

whatever it is, i dont like it.

What i do like however, is this sudden hunger/desire to find out more about the gift of FAITH. I think God spoke to me this morning about my gifting. But it seems to be a very mellow gift. something not loud or obvious. so how do i use it? is it only for myself then? but all gifts are supposed to be plucked for others isnt it?

anyways, i am excited. also want a car. promised God that if He were to get me a car (free) i will serve in the 8am service for 6mths. i dont know what i'll serve in though. most prob new christians - the discovery course.

i am really happy being in TV land. however, i do want to get out n socialise more. i want more human interaction. as much as i love what i am doing, i still wana be around people more.

cant wait!

cant wait to move house as well.

still dont know about changing jobs. do really feel like staying here but then i feel underpaid. been told that people with my experience is getting paid $70-80K in bigger agencies. so i feel underpaid.

sigh...

anyways, see where Daddy God brings me.