Monday, August 16, 2010

14 aug noon - still hurting

It feels sucky to b in tr pressence of couples. Especially young loving couples. Makes me feel so jealous n envious. It hurts. N I doubt if God ever meant to bless me tat way. It's something I have been wanting for such a long time but it jus never happened. N it seems like it will never happen.
I wonder now if I m holding on so much to the relationship with toulia cos I really love him or cos I feel so misunderstood n the only proof tat I have been understood is if he comes back. N if he accepts me as I m. 
But tat means tat I m refusing to accept tat God gave us free will. I m forcing toulia to accept me. 
It hurts cos I love him lots. N I've never really wanted to change him. Jus prayed tat he would b healed n whole n tat his frustrations would b sorted out. Supported him by being with him every step of the way tat I could. 
But he has not returned the favor. He's jus walked away now tat his situation has changed. 
Daddy it hurts. Help me. 

No comments:

Post a Comment