15 aug evening- foster child

I feel like a child in foster care. Passed from one family to another, rejected, unloved, unaccepted n abandoned. 
By having been accepted by God into His family thru Christ, I have access to everything God has in His kingdom. However it does not reduce the pain of rejection I suffered at the hand of others. 
Susan said not to let it get to me. Not to get bitter n resentful bout it. But how not to? She said that when I understand tat I went thru wat I did was cos God KNEW tat I could, I would feel honored n privileged. 
I guess I would get that eventually. But for now it really hurts. 
Shiman said tat if it's causing me so much pain I should let toulia go. N it's not that I dun wana let it go. I want to. But the pain keeps coming back. Everything I hear n learn causes me to understand myself more. N thru it I jus see more unfairness. I stood by him thru tough times. When I was goin thru tough times n under the grind he jus picked at me. He didn't understand wat I was goin thru. It hurts to b abandoned. N I wish Gos would make it right n have him say sorry to me. I guess he eventually would. One day. But by then it would b too late or won't matter anymore. Perhaps it should never matter. Yes it should never matter. Cos God knows my heart. God knows wat I went thru. God knows tat I was struggling to live obediently. N tat I had been doin my best. Although it didn't have the result tat I wanted but God knows I did my best. That's enough. That's more than enough. Doesn't matter what others say. 
Even Karen who kept talking bout my temper. She has her own issues. I still love her for her. She can't stand me cos of my loudness but it's cos of her experience with her dad. That's not my issue. That's her journey with God. He will take it up with her. Not me. It's not mine to challenge. 
God gave me wisdom on certain matters to take it up with others. I have my issues too. N God is taking it up with me.
I really wana live a life free of my temper n I have set boundaries which I have not kept or so I tink. I wana stop speaking bad of others. So far I have not resisted. Thank God for His grace. 
New moment. New opportunity. :)
With God there is always tomorrow. 
By God's standard I am beautiful n perfect. Doesn't matter that I am still single. Doesn't matter that I have been rejected by others. He still loves me.